It is impossible to be arrogant and have wisdom. The presence of pride precludes the presence of wisdom. Pride suggests to the individual that he already knows everything he needs to know, that he already sees as clearly as it is possible to see, that his insight is clear and complete. The individual, therefore, does not seek the wisdom and advice of others, or if he does, he does not really listen to the wisdom of others, unless it matches the conclusion he has already reached, because he believes his perspective to already be perfect.
Arrogant people are prone to miscommunications, believing as they do that they always have a complete understanding of what other people are about, what other people mean to communicate. They assume implied meanings to other people’s communication, reading insults and slanderings where there are none. This is because arrogance often comes at a price, even though the individual does not know it. Despite the arrogance, despite the overpowering self-confidence, arrogant people are also usually extremely self-conscious and insecure, harboring fears and worries that their braggadocio attempts to cover. They fear failure, they fear rejection, and to compensate they boast and swagger and claim wisdom and insight where there is none, mocking those who they view as having no wisdom, all in the effort to prove to everyone else how valuable they are and how worthy they are of love and attention.
Everyone but the prideful knows the truth, however, knows that wisdom and insight are figments of the individual’s mind, that the individual is, in fact, a fool, made all the more so by his continued attempts to prove his value and worth.
I know about these things—I have often been the one who is prideful and arrogant.
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Prov. 11:2
Tags: arrogance, communication, misunderstandings, philosophy, wisdom
It’s interesting. There have been several moments over the last few weeks where I have either read something on Xanga or overheard something that was said in casual conversation that have just caused me to think, “Hey, now. That’s not right.” And every nerve in my body was tingling because I just wanted to counter the statement, to “set ‘im right”, to correct what was such obvious foolishness and stupidity.
But what I’m learning is that so often it is just better to hold one’s tongue and say nothing. I have had to learn to stop and think, and ultimately I end up determining that, even had I said something, it would not have changed the opinion of the individual in question and would possibly have done more to hurt than to help. As much as I want to bring people to a correct view as I understand it (with humility, of course), I have to remind myself that many don’t want to be corrected or even necessarily led to the truth, as it would require a change to their personal worldview. About the best I can hope to do is continue my own search for the truth, refine my own worldview by what I know, and choose my opportunities to share with those who are eager to hear and learn and be shaped, as I hope they do for me. Sometimes, I just have to keep my mouth shut and let them find their own way.
Tags: communication, conflict, opinions, wisdom
“Everyone who is consumed with being right and a little too uptight about being exact and so on shoudl take heed of my little girl’s quote: ”’R’ is for ‘Bunny’” was her response when we were doing flashcards the other night. The letter R was on one side and a picture of a rabbit on
the other.”
In this postmodern society, it is less important for an individual to be right than it is to make sure that no one’s feelings get hurt, that the social relationship is preserved and without conflict. It is more important to avoid offending anyone, to avoid telling anyone that they are wrong, than it is to make sure that the information you have and believe is true and accurate. The unspoken rule now is that it might just be wrong to be right because it might hurt someone’s ego or damage their self-esteem.
The trouble is that this approach is dangerous. I think it may be a part of why so many of our generation are unable to articulate what they believe, why their worldviews and values and standards waffle and waver so much. No one is allowed to be right, at least not obviously so, because of the effect that being right might have on others. There are countless examples in our society where what is right and true and correct is passed over in favor of what looks and
feels best. In the end the final result is shallow and meaningless, leaving everyone without guidance and direction.
Biblically, I believe we are called to seek out that which is right and true, to know what you believe and to know it so well that you can defend it to any who would attack it. Certainty and confidence are powerful allies and can set your course straight and honest. All things have a right and a wrong, but often it requires experience and wisdom to discern the difference, and wisdom is so dearly lacking in our society. How can there be wisdom when one is not allowed
to be right? How can there be wisdom when one is not allowed to speak his mind and give voice to truth and discernment? So, we must try everything, sifting it carefully, using wisdom and the
guidance of the Holy Spirit to determine that which is right, setting it in a place of prominence so that it may gleam forth and draw others toward God.
Tags: conflict, culture, emotions, holy-spirit, postmodernism, relationships, right-and-wrong, self-esteem, society, truth, wisdom, worldview
I love irony. Right up until the point where it teaches me something about myself that I’d really rather not know.
I was laid low this morning by a singular realization. I love the written word. I love the way it can express a thought with an array of color, a depth of emotion, and a transcendance of thought. I love the way the written word gives me time and opportunity to fully articulate a thought, to express it the way I really mean to. The irony is this—in writing a response to a thought or an idea, I don’t always take the time to make sure I understand the original point. I sometimes find myself simply reacting rather than addressing the intended point, and in the process I end up missing the point altogether. I forget to ask the question, What is he/she saying here? Instead, I end up simply asking, albeit unconsciously, How can I react to this? What thoughts are spurred by what this individual is saying? I really need to learn to pay more attention, to ask the right questions, and to answer in kind. I need to be more thoughtful in my responses, in my interactions with others, because failure to do so can potentially cause great harm, embarrassment, and shame.
I need to learn wisdom.
Tags: communication, irony, misunderstandings, wisdom, Writing
